I’m trying to figure myself out and slowly things are starting to come together. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my daddy. How he’s very sick and slowly dying. How there’s nothing I can ever do to even help him or make it go away. For anyone that doesn’t know my daddy was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease when I was a newborn. His brother called him one day telling him he had it. Before that nobody had ever heard of it or knew where it came from. Both my daddy and my uncle were foster kids, there was no telling who it came from. Everyday I think about it more and more. I’ve known about this since I can remember and I’ve always known it was hereditary. Meaning I have a fifty percent chance of getting this. Honestly this scares me more then anything. When you turn eighteen you can be tested for it but I chose not to. I know if I found out I had it I would end up killing myself, I would see no point in trying to do anything with my life. Kinda where i’m headed now. Sometimes I think what if I do have it and everything I’m doing is for nothing in the end… I know that’s a horrible way to think. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me and sometimes it gets the best of me. I really don’t know what to even do at this point. The two pictures on top are of me and my daddy. The first one when I was a baby, the second was from this year.

I’m happy with my life. Without you in it.

Prepare for the worst but still praying for the best(;

No more dreads:(