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Me:  *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady:  *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
ROL:  Isn't he a little old for you?
Me:  Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
Dad:  *chokes into his drink*
ROL:  You should respect your elders.
Me:  You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
Dad:  *chokes on his drink again*
ROL:  *storms off*
Dad:  *looks at me with a disapproving look*
Me:  What?
Dad:  Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to turn you on at the most inappropriate of times.


I bet you’d sound adorable moaning my name.



can’t decide if I want a tattoo sleeve or a career

nowadays, you can have both


hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm

"Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just sucks."
-Alexa Chung  (via silvike)